Wrong Answer

Wrong Answer

Felix — When my girlfriend was eight months pregnant, I got in trouble with some cops. They got me for double attempted murder, but they dropped the charges to aggravated assault and resisting arrest. They tried to get me for 20 years but the reason they didn't is because these cops already had grievances against them. I ended up doing 3 years.

A week after I get sentenced I get a letter in the mail. It says 'INS Hold'. What's an INS Hold? I'd never heard of it. That means that they're going to deport you back to Mexico. It felt like they dropped an [expletive] boulder on me. And I thought, 'They can't do that. I was in the Army. I've got an honorable discharge.'

I did my time and they transferred me to an INS detention center in Colorado. When I was there I met a guy from England who had been convicted of embezzlement of a couple million dollars, a white collar crime. They were getting ready to deport him to England. Other inmates were harassing him and taking his commissary items — and he ordered a lot. I can't have that, I thought. I stood up for him because I didn't think it was fair. I knew it could have started a riot but I didn't care. I couldn't see in my heart that someone could be taken advantage like that. He told me I saved his life and he started running with me and my friends. He told me I could join him in England when I got out.

When my deportation hearing came up, the judge asked me what country I wanted to get deported to and I said, 'England!!' I could see myself kicking it with my friend and $2 million.

He said, 'England? But you're from Mexico.'

'Well, then why the [expletive] did you ask me then?' I shouted back. 

He banged his gavel over and over again and said, 'Get him out of here!' I spent two weeks in the hole [solitary confinement] for that...and was deported to Mexico.

I guess that was the wrong answer.

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Airborne

Airborne

The Poet

The Poet