Felix — I wrote a poem about how I suffered for six months while I lived on the streets. I wrote this when I stayed at The Bunker. I add the phrase 'There is only one me,' to the top of everything I write.
Somebody, anybody help me
by Felix Peralta
Only the strong-minded will survive the deportation
It's not easy surviving when you get deported from the US
Especially if you lose everything
Family, which is the most important
The material things come and go.
It's like a bad dream
but you're living it for real
Just imagine being born in Mexico
and your family takes you across the border
to the United States of America.
You grow up,
finish high school,
then join the armed forces.
You serve your country because you were raised there.
Life seems so beautiful.
Your family loves you and you love them back.
You're saying — this is life!
Then, after serving your country, you make a wrong choice
Or should I say — you break the law.
You're put in jail and you do your time.
You get deported back to the country where you were born
With no money,
Lost in another world,
Depression hits you like a sledgehammer.
And you say to yourself — my life is over. I miss my family.
And you start saying to yourself — I should have done things differently.
But it's too late.
Somebody, help me
Alcohol, drugs help me
I'm lost in a world where I was born, but don't know
The wall separates me from my loved ones
So close, but so far away
Help, help, somebody. Anybody.
Walking the streets of Tijuana with my hands in my pockets,
looking down at the ground,
lost and afraid to look up because I see a great big wall
that separates me from my family.
I want to forget.
Don't have a destination
Can't get a job
Haven't taken a shower
Time went by so fast
Don't know what to do
Where am I?
What happened to me?
Drugs, alcohol, please help me
I'm too dirty to ask for a job
I hear my dad's voice:
Felix, don't beg for money
You have two hands and two feet — work.
But where, dad? I'm too dirty. I can't do it, dad.
Dad, my heart hurts so much.
I want to go back, dad
But this wall won't let me.
Felix, get up and start walking and looking
I can't, dad.
Alcohol, drugs, please help me forget for awhile.
This damn wall separates me from my family.
I can't do it
Just want to give up and die
People are dying all around
I smell the rot
Their minds are gone
They walk like zombies
Am I going to be like them?
Alcohol, drugs, please help me.
I'm still the same
Lost in a different world
So close but so far away
Maybe if I close my eyes it all will disappear.
No, still here
Great big wall
Please, somebody, help
Anybody, help me.
[Editor's Note: Printed with permission.]